Day 99 S-366-LYDoG:
They say patience is a virtue.
What in the world? I mean who has time for patience anyway …
I lack patience in a big way … obviously. Especially when it comes to other people. I am one of those who rushes from one spot to the next, for what reason I have no idea, but I do. It’s almost as if someone or something is chasing me through life. I feel as though I should have everything done and done now. I want to know everything now, I want to be everything now, and I want everything to be fixed, right now! If you get in my way? Watch out!
My son with Asperger’s? Unlike me, he has patience that comes from knowing who he is. In my last post I talked about the fact that what you see is what you get. I think that part of his nature is what drives his ability to dig deep for his patience.
Now, don’t get me wrong; like any child on the spectrum or, any child at all really, he has his moments. Who doesn’t? We’ve all been there, in the emotional head-space that is driven by instant gratification. Sean definitely has those moments. His patience has to do more with other people. Not everyone is kind and patient with him and his … idiosyncrasies. He is teased often, especially by other children who are less tolerant than adults. He comes across as overly “stiff” to kids his age and it leaves him vulnerable to unkind behavior.
This breaks my heart, of course. But, what amazes me is his patience with them. He never taunts them in return, he doesn’t speak ill of them, he doesn’t even like to tell the teacher because he knows they’ll get in trouble. He doesn’t retaliate in the least. This can be problematic at times but I hope that he can stay this way and learn to use it to his benefit as he grows up. I know there will always be naysayers who prey on his social awkwardness, those who have no awareness of autism, who don’t understand his ways; but, I also know that his sweet and guileless nature can protect him in the end. I know I feel that I am much better off when I walk away from a bad situation rather than rise to the occasion to vent my frustrations.
The more I observe him and how he handles the people around him, the more I realize that I really need to take the time to discover this virtue called patience.