Day 97 S-366-LYDoG:
Today my “grateful” is centered around my son Sean’s ability to remain innocent in a cunning world. His Asperger’s gives him an innocence and lack of guile that are, all at once, astounding, refreshing and wonderful. For instance, he made it clear to the age of 11 before I finally had to break the news about Santa. I’m surprised none of his friends told him first, it seemed like they all knew. Sean never even thought to question me, it never occurred to him that after all this time Santa used the same wrapping paper mom had stashed in the hall closet; or that mom always made them stay out of her room for the entire months of November and December. This last Christmas I even accidentally had him carry bags with his own gifts inside from the car.
I decided I’d rather tell him than have him hear it from anyone else. He just sat and cried. I thought my heart would break as I realized that he wasn’t naturally following the idea on down the line. It seemed like I was shattering his heart just a little more with each new fairy tale that came to an end that day. There went the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy etc … I hated to have to strip him of some his childhood that day as I’m sure every parent feels in similar situations.
Innocence comes so easily to him. It is certainly rare to see it in this world of rough and tough reality. I think this is one of the qualities of his Asperger’s I am most grateful for. It is most remarkable and I wish we could all hold onto that innocence just a wee bit longer.