Day 85 S-366-LYDoG:
Today was exam day in multi-variate calculus. The test itself wasn’t bad, it was the lack of motivation I felt all day afterward. I kept thinking to myself, “I must be nuts to want to continue down this road for several more years.” I keep wondering if I should just give up and settle for a different life. I know if I did that, though, I’d be disappointed in myself, always wondering what “might have been.”
I think what helps me most on days like today is remembering to be thankful that I have the opportunity to pursue my dreams. There have been times when I’ve had to put those dreams on hold or change their shape due to life circumstances. I know I’ve written before about how difficult it can be to re-imagine your life when you thought you already had everything all figured out. I’m still thankful for those experiences but, it is also nice to have the chance to chase my unfettered dreams once in a while.
Going to school, killing myself with homework and exams, is actually my way of going after my dreams. Dreams don’t just come to you, at least not the kind you have for your life. You have to work for them. Sometimes you might need to work really hard, even fight for them but, in reality, the dreams worth chasing are the ones that usually require the most determination to achieve.
So, watch out world, I’m diving in and taking this opportunity to heart. Go me!