Day 76 S-366-LYDoG:
Every day is a crap shoot.
Every … stinking … day …
I mean some days I wake up feeling pretty good, all things considered. I don’t think I’m ever not in pain but, there are certainly days when it is much more manageable than others.
Then there are those days that I wake up feeling as though I’ve been gobbled up by a giant T-Rex, chewed up, partially digested and then ejected in a soggy lump on the ground (take your pick, front or back.) Of course, if it’s a really special day he steps on me as he stomps away. (Sorry for the graphics, sometimes the truth is just a gross mess!)
Of course there are all of the days that I spend in the “in between” zone. Sometimes I’m a little worse off but definitely not dino doo doo, and others I’m a little closer to the doo doo than I’d like to be. Sometimes it is my stomach, sometimes its my joints, sometimes it’s my hips, sometimes it’s my back … sometimes … sometimes … sometimes … it’s all of the above and more.
The hardest part for me isn’t necessarily feeling like processed dino food, believe it or not. It actually comes down to unpredictability. It is so frustrating never to know exactly what I’ll be opening my eyes to. On a scale of 0 to dino yuck it ranges on a daily basis and can even change on me during the day without warning. I wonder if I knew in advance, would I be able to manage it better? Would I be able to plan life out accordingly and avoid frustration? Or do you think I might get so depressed from anticipation that I might be paralyzed right out of my life?
Knowing me, probably the later; however, you can probably imagine my euphoric feelings when I awake to a generally happy body instead of the dinosaur unmentionables. It is really easy for me to overdo it on days like that because, I’m so pleased that I can move that, I tend toward getting as much done as I can not knowing when another good day will come.
Today I am grateful for two things. First, I think that as frustrating as the unknown is, it can be a blessing in disguise. It keeps me from dreading the next day; rather, I go to bed with a sense of anticipation that is richly rewarded on the good days. Second, I am very happy to report that the dreaded T-Rex stayed away last night. So I accomplished the following:
A load of laundry (shout for joy!)
A swim at the pool (I said, can I get a hallelujah!)
A trip to Costco (ooops, may have overextended a little there … still sing praises y’all!)
All in all, a very good day.