Day 63: Hairy Perspective

Day 63 S-366-LYDoG:

“I’m wallowing …”, I thought miserably to myself this morning. It was after class, on the way to the swimming pool and I was letting the weight of my stress pull me under. It was then that I realized I as wallowing in it a bit more than usual this week.

Really, who can blame me? I think we all wallow at times in the “pit of despair”, so to speak. My pit may not have a creepy albino lurking about but, it certainly feels as though there is a life sucking machine deep in its depths.

Well, I have had enough. I think I’ve spent enough time wallowing and I’m going to spend the next few days using my daily gratitude challenge to gain some perspective. Rather than talk of blessings, I’m going to dive a little deeper and see if I can look at those blessings in a different light. I’ve got to do something to crawl out of this pit.

I, like everyone else who is struggling, hate the empty platitudes we hear. So, instead I’m going to share some platitudes that hopefully don’t feel so empty. One that I’ve heard a lot lately is, “it could be worse!”

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Then … At the hospital a couple of years ago getting an infusion. It had just started to grow back and fill in but still lacked that “healthy glow.”

Well, of course it could! Who wants to hear that when they’re feeling low. We spend so much time comparing ourselves to others that I feel like we miss the most important comparison of all. I do much better when I compare myself to … myself. I’m the best gauge as to whether or not I’m doing better, whether or not life has improved, whether or not I’ve learned the lessons life is attempting to convey.

It has been worse for me. I’d much rather hear, “you’ve had it worse”, than the empty promise that it could at some point past, present or future be worse. I have had it worse, much worse. It is this perspective that helped me most today.

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Now … Good hair days are the best!

It may sound silly or petty to you but, I had really good hair day. No, really, a great hair day. I don’t know how I managed because they seem so fleeting. I’m so thankful for it, though, because it reminds me of the awful time I hardly had any hair to speak of at all. That seems like great progress to me. I used to think I would die without my hair and, it was close, but I survived. I did more than survive, I fought back. It clued me into some things I really needed to address about my medications. It led to an important diagnosis that, while difficult, required immediate attention.

Was it fun? Oh heck no!

Was it worth it?

Very!

There you have it. A “good hair day perspective” on life. It helped me a great deal today to look back and then realize that it may not feel so great in the moment but, I’ve come a long way.

Stina

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