Day 57 S-366-LYDoG:
Wow, what a long week. I am so thankful that it is finally done. That’s not my “grateful” for the day, by the way. I’ve been wondering all day what I was going to write. Even now, I’m waffling between a few ideas. Although my week has been strenuous, today was full of sunshine and warm weather, and lots of reminders of why I’m grateful to be alive.
I think I’ll settle on that. The idea that I am grateful be alive; not just grateful but, for the most part, enjoying it. That’s not to say I don’t have my bad days, weeks, even months. I guess what I’m getting at is this. A couple of years ago around this time I was trying to suffocate myself in my pillows every night. I truly thought that life could not be worse, nor did I see how it would ever get better. I’d been through really hard things in the past but, this was different. I felt hopeless, worthless, and as if the light at the end of the tunnel had been completely snuffed out.
Today, two years later, I can see that light again. Even on the most difficult days it shines through and reminds me that I’m lucky and happy to be alive. I have so much to live for. I did before but, depression is devastating that way. It can make you feel as if all that you live for is garbage. It clouds your mind and feeds your soul full of lies. Lies that are small but insidious at first until they grow and overshadow all that seems good.
I am so glad that my perspective has been changed and that my zeal for life has returned. I didn’t think it possible. I do have so much to be thankful for, even on the days when it feels like I don’t. I think that is one of the reasons that I started this challenge, because I want to get back to the place where I can live in peace no matter what storm I am passing through on life’s journey. The best way I know how to do that is to remove the shroud of lies that depression perpetuates by reminding myself that there is much to live for and be grateful for along the way.
Happy Friday everyone! Go find the things in life that make you happy this weekend and enjoy!